Choices

So, I just finished the book, Parenting with Love and Logic. It's a book I used to use at my job when I met with families to talk about their crisis. We talked about natural consequences and avoiding power struggles with kids. I feel like I owe all of my former clients an apology. Little did I know that just having a toddler can be a crisis in itself and can instantly morph you into a crazy person.

Anyway...this book gave me a refresher and was really helpful. It motivated me to add more choices to Emma's day and help her to figure out her own problems. I will have to admit, there were a few ideas that were panic inducing. They really drove home the point that our interactions with her will shape her self-concept and develop (or underdevelop) her self-esteem. Ahhh! Enter flashbacks of me being impatient, less than supportive of her, and having my own tantrums. BUT..kids are resilient, right?...So after reading, and feeling guilty, I'm all geared up to give Emma some choices today. The ball is going to be in her court. She's going to feel like she has control and build off-the-chart levels of self-esteem!!!.....OR.....:

Em: I know! I want to trace my letters!

Me: Great idea! Would you like me to bring up paper? or would you like to work on your art desk downstairs?

Em: Oh...whatever works best for you mom.

In case you are thinking this sounds sweet, think again. This girl has my number, can possibly read my mind, and I am terrified of her teenage years. =)

Things I want to remember from this book:

• Children's mistakes are their opportunities
• Setting limits is like building walls that don't crumble and leave kids feeling secure
• Let your yes be yes, and your no be yes, too (i.e. I want to play computer NOW!! Can I? Yes. You can play after lunch. tricky!)
• You can't make a child go to sleep.